My Favorite Facebook Posts in May 2013

• I really hate it when the voices in my head argue among themselves as though I wasn’t even in the room.
• It was such a small town that we didn't even have a village idiot. We had to take turns.
• I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me.
• Unexpectedly the bells in the Quasimodo's tower began to ring again. I have a hunch he's back!
• Two rules for life: 

1. Don't tell people everything you know. 

2.                                                                

The sad part is how many people who did not get the last one...just sayin'...

My Favorite Facebook Posts in June 2013

• The family lawyer will read the will tomorrow at the residence of Mr. Hannon, who died June 19 to accommodate his relatives.
• Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
• When Jesus commanded the demons to come out of the man called Legion, the demons begged Jesus to cast them into the swine heard nearby. Jesus did, and the pigs ran over the cliff. This is the first mention of deviled ham in the Bible.
• A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he's on a beach. The sand is reddish purple. He can't believe it. The sky is burgundy. He walks around a bit and sees that there is dark red grass, wine-red birds and claret-colored fruit on the trees. He's shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn a ruby-like color as well. "Oh no!" he says, "I think I've been marooned!"
• The divorce rate among socks is astonishing!

My Favorite Facebook Posts in July 2013

14 August 2013

• Women should not have children after 35. Really...35 children are enough.
•  I think therefore I am...confused.
•  Actual Newspaper Headline: Study finds having sex enhances pregnancy chances
•  I just finished writing a Broadway musical about the dictionary. It's the ultimate play on words.
• Just want to alert you to a chemical I've been reading about which is causing a lot of big problems. The chemical is dihydrogen monoxide or DHMO for short. It has been found to be the major component of acid rain, and even more significantly has been found in every cup of coffee and tea tested. In some people it is causing swollen ankles, shortness of breath, or urgency. DHMO has even forced some people to abandon their homes. In my case, it is quite clearly the cause of many of my poor golf scores.

A Joplin Journey: Freedom

12 August 2013

(continued from 4 July 13)

When Betty Jo opened the large garage, it was breathtaking, but not in a beautiful way. A six-bay metal garage was full - head height or more - with very little room to maneuver.

A little later, Betty Jo would open her garage to the house, and it was stacked with boxes to the garage door. Going inside her house, one could find a path from the kitchen to the bathroom (which was barely usable). Other paths around the house existed, and there were a few empty spaces, but not many. Betty Jo's problem with hoarding was real and it was ruining her life.

Almost as soon as we arrived, Betty Jo explained her immediate needs, and she began to give directions to our team about what was to stay, what was to be recycled, what was to be given away, and what was to be trashed. While our team did not see eye-to-eye on what should stay or go, we did find her remarkable. She was letting go of many things that had been holding her for so long. This was nothing less than a spiritual victory of a most powerful kind!

After two days of making significant progress - sorting through two of the six bays in the garage - Betty Jo gave us a card with the following note:

Always REMEMBER - THINGS ARE NOTHING. If something is not moving you toward your goal, DO NOT DO IT, NOR OWN IT, NOR HOLD ON TO IT - for your only possession of value is love and it grows as you give it away.

GOD'S gift to me THROUGH YOU this day shall never be forgotten. I appreciate it and the memory of it is a TREASURED POSSESSION I can happily carry with me always. Thank you!

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. 

Philippians 4.13, NIV