Some Musings on Tax Day

15 April 2014

Some musings that will hopefully bring a smile to your face:

Last night, I was listening to the forecast that it was going to snow today. I decided that I was going to do something about it. I mean, we have had enough snow. Enough is enough. So, I went outside with my staff and slammed it down on the ground and yelled, "You shall not pass!" I was confident that this would do the job.

This morning, it is snowing. Apparently, I need a new staff, or become Gandalf, because this is an epic failure.

As it was snowing, I was standing at the back door with Xavy who seemed to be genuinely excited about the snow, the poor child. I yelled once again, "Snow, snow, go away, come again...in December." Another epic failure on my part. It doesn't rhyme.

Xavy looked at me, and said, "It is not working Pops!" Great, now my grandson is pointing out my failures. This day is already not going well.

It figures that it is snowing on April 15. Dealing with the government is typically a cold proposition.

I made my way to the Post Office this morning, because though I was able to send the forms of my son, daughter, and mother electronically, for the umpteenth year in a row, ours would not transmit electronically. I know how to keep the USPS in business.

Reason #1 - you need to explain the term "housing allowance." Dear IRS: The term "housing allowance" is the portion of my salary that is set aside to be used for...ummm...housing. Your Humble and Obedient Servant, Paul J. Decker.

Reason #2 - you need to explain your reason of reported income as "unused housing allowance." Dear IRS. The reason I stated "unused housing allowance" refers to the amount of money that was not used for...ummm...housing. Your Humble and Obedient Servant, Paul J. Decker.

So, I get to the Post Office and they use my first name. They know me like that at the Pharmacy as well. I have the Cheers thing going at the most unusual places.

After getting the tax forms mailed, I asked for 100 stamps. All they had was Charlton Heston. I liked that so much, I proclaimed in a booming voice, "Thus saith the Lord" so that everyone in the Post Office could hear it. Actually I surprised my self. I was good.

I joked with the gals there that my college students don't know who Charlton Heston is or the movie "The Ten Commandments." Case in point, the guy being waited on in the line next to me smiled at me, but obviously had no idea what we were talking about.  Another epic failure, but I don't think it is all my fault.

Well, this day can only get better...I think...

Favorite Quotes (16) - Grover's

9 April 2014

Unsupervised children will be given sugar and a free puppy.

Sign in Grover's Bar & Grill

Favorite Quotes (15) - from Ollie's Bargain Outlet

6 April 2014

"If you can't find what you are looking for, look for something else."

Sign in Ollie's Bargain Outlet

Favorite Quotes (14) - Jerry Gillis

5 April 2014

Nothing can take the place of the gospel.  Everything will try.

Jerry Gillis

Lead Pastor 

The Chapel at CrossPoint

Favorite Quotes (13) - "The African Queen"

4 April 2014

"By the authority granted to me by his Imperial Majesty Kaiser Wilhelm the Second, I pronounce you man and wife - proceed with the execution."

Captain of the Louisa in The African Queen