Remembrances by James J. Decker
24 June 2012
Legacy he left for me
Proverbs
1:8-9 (ESV) “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your
mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants
for your neck.”
Proverbs
3:13-15 (ESV) “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets
understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her
profit better than gold. She is more
precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.”
My
grandfather was my example of wisdom.
When I had just started at Roberts Wesleyan College in Rochester, New York, I remember starting my first theology class. I was at Papa and Nana’s house sitting on the couch and Papa was sitting on his comfy chair. It was ironic that I was sitting on the couch because I never seemed to stay awake on that couch for very long. Before the comfort of the couch took over, Papa leaned over and said “You know what JJ, people say that there are things in life that are either black or white. In Jesus, there is NO black and white, there is only white and non-white.”
There was no issue too big, or thankfully, too small, that Papa wouldn’t stop to take the time to sit - and listen - and offer his wisdom if asked. I always asked.
My grandfather was an example of having a passion for God’s Word. His Bibles were always worn, broken, tattered, ripped, but most importantly: read. When I would walk into their house, he would have a Bible on the kitchen table, end table, and his study. He was a relentless in his study of God’s Word.
He was sold out for Jesus. From his teachings in Sunday School, to his conversations with waitresses at family restaurants, it was unmistakable that he was in love with Jesus. In his conversations with Grace, Elizabeth, Joel and me, his passion was for Jesus. Beginning with his own personal studies, to sitting with Nana at the kitchen table before breakfast, he knew Jesus, and Jesus knew him.
He was my example of a faithful prayer life. Every morning, Papa and Nana would sit around the kitchen table, read through Our Daily Bread, and go through their prayer list. Their son, daughter-in-love, and grandchildren were always on their list. How do I know? Because Papa and Nana would tell us. They never let a moment pass without reminding us.
Personally, I knew I always could go to Papa and Nana if I needed prayer for something (it was as if they had a direct line with God).
Finally, he loved Marilyn. He has always been an example of a husband’s unconditional and faithful love to his wife.
He was always taking care of her, even when it was hard to take care of himself. And it started immediately after he became a Christian. Whenever Papa would come home from work, whether bricklaying, teaching, or in college, first thing he would do is go find Nana. He would walk right past my dad (sometimes saying "Where is your mother?") - on purpose, every day, without fail. Even as they grew older, he was always writing her cards and notes, never missing a birthday, Valentine’s Day, or Mother’s Day. It was because of a rock solid belief, that God had given Nana to him. It was the deep appreciation that God had put Nana back into his life.
And for over 70 years, he loved my grandmother. And I know he still does.
When asked about what marriage advice Papa could offer, he said this:
Ask forgiveness
and forgive when hurt or hurtful;
Patience with
one another;
Daily telling
your spouse how much you them;
Always say ‘I
love you’ daily;
Let money take
care of itself, God has always met our needs;
Take
time to kiss with passion, regardless of age
It was because of his wisdom, his passion for God’s Word and Jesus, his dedicated prayer life and his love for Nana that I always look to Papa as my example of what a godly man looks like. And I will continue to pursue this.
