Remembrances by James J. Decker
24 June 2012
Proverbs
1:8-9 (ESV) “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your
mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants
for your neck.”
Proverbs
3:13-15 (ESV) “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets
understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her
profit better than gold. She is more
precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.”
My
grandfather was my example of wisdom.
When I
had just started at Roberts Wesleyan College in Rochester, New York, I remember
starting my first theology class. I was
at Papa and Nana’s house sitting on the couch and Papa was sitting on his
comfy chair. It was ironic that I was
sitting on the couch because I never seemed to stay awake on that couch for
very long. Before the comfort of the
couch took over, Papa leaned over and said “You know what JJ, people say that
there are things in life that are either black or white. In Jesus, there is NO black and white, there
is only white and non-white.”
There
was no issue too big, or thankfully, too small, that Papa wouldn’t stop to take
the time to sit - and listen - and offer his wisdom if asked. I always asked.
My
grandfather was an example of having a passion for God’s Word. His Bibles were always worn, broken,
tattered, ripped, but most importantly: read. When I would walk into their house, he would have a Bible on the kitchen
table, end table, and his study. He was
a relentless in his study of God’s Word.
He was
sold out for Jesus. From his teachings
in Sunday School, to his conversations with waitresses at family restaurants,
it was unmistakable that he was in love with Jesus. In his conversations with Grace, Elizabeth,
Joel and me, his passion was for Jesus. Beginning with his own personal studies, to sitting with Nana at the
kitchen table before breakfast, he knew Jesus, and Jesus knew him.
He was
my example of a faithful prayer life. Every morning, Papa and Nana would sit around the kitchen table, read
through Our Daily Bread, and go through their prayer list. Their son, daughter-in-love, and grandchildren
were always on their list. How do I
know? Because Papa and Nana would tell
us. They never let a moment pass without
reminding us.
Personally,
I knew I always could go to Papa and Nana if I needed prayer for something (it was as if they had a direct
line with God).
Finally,
he loved Marilyn. He has always been an example of a husband’s
unconditional and faithful love to his wife.
He was
always taking care of her, even when it was hard to take care of himself. And it started immediately after he became a
Christian. Whenever Papa would come home
from work, whether bricklaying, teaching, or in college, first thing he would
do is go find Nana. He would walk right past my
dad (sometimes saying "Where is your mother?") - on purpose, every day, without fail. Even as they grew older, he was always writing
her cards and notes, never missing a birthday, Valentine’s Day, or Mother’s
Day. It was because of a rock solid belief, that God had given Nana to
him. It was the deep appreciation that
God had put Nana back into his life.
And for
over 70 years, he loved my grandmother. And I know he still does.
When
asked about what marriage advice Papa could offer, he said this:
Ask forgiveness
and forgive when hurt or hurtful;
Patience with
one another;
Daily telling
your spouse how much you them;
Always say ‘I
love you’ daily;
Let money take
care of itself, God has always met our needs;
Take
time to kiss with passion, regardless of age
It was
because of his wisdom, his passion for God’s Word and Jesus, his dedicated
prayer life and his love for Nana that I always look to Papa as my example of
what a godly man looks like. And I will
continue to pursue this.
